It’s hard to belive but I should have been getting married tomorrow as the 28th July was surposed to have been my Wedding Day – but then sadly some things are just not to be. When I look back over the last 2 years it has been like a roller coaster. I broke with my management after 14 years and had to start from scratch. All I had was my music, costumes and talent and I started again re – shooting all my photos and designing a new web-site with my designer. This time I made sure the photos and web name were mine and I’m really proud of the way it’s flurshing as it represents my feedom and me.
Sadly not all has gone well for me over these last 2 years and I’m afraid I got rather cruelly taken advantage of by quite the worst of men. A man I can best describe as a Cad and a Con man. When you really start to look into this mans character it’s quite shocking and I find it hard to belive that anyone can be that wicked. I had a very lucky escape I think and the sad thing is I once held this man in very high regard. We went out together for 3 months and he even proposed marriage to me which I guess was just a funny joke to him, but it wasn’t funny to me! I did truly belive I had found my sole mate but I was very wrong. The two qualities I most look for in a person and espesialy a man are honesty and integraty – this man has neither! Lesson learnt!
I guess deep down we all long to be loved but it’s very difficult for someone like me. I’ve always had a very professional life and it’s hard for anyone outside of show biz to understand. I have to work very hard and even when I’m not singing I’m usaly at my desk doing contracts and answering e-mails. So very little spar time!
I then met David and in the beginning we seemed to want the same things. I am an artist to my core and sadly I don’t think David ever understood that. He never felt I gave him enough time, which I can understand as my job is very demarding. Unlike the Cad David is a good man at heart I think but I’m too wild, I have to run and I have to fly. I exspress myself through the arts and for anyone who has seen me dance you will know what I mean. I am a free spirit and I hate to be like all the others. I could never make David happy I know I couldn’t which was why I had to break off the engagement.
Tomorrow I’m in Bury St Edmunds doing a show which will take my mind off of things but I know it was the right decission and I don’t have any regrets. I hope David can find his match and I’m just sorry I wasn’t right for him! But the show must go on and I must do what I was put on this earth to do and sing!